Battlestargate Universe

by Jonas Kyratzes

The weirdest thing about Stargate Universe is that is sucks less than its two predecessors. Oh, don’t get me wrong, it is still an utterly derivative show with no imagination of its own – in fact, this time around the producers have been even less subtle about their stealing from other shows. The degree to which Stargate Universe is a rip-off of Battlestar Galactica (with a bit of Lost thrown in) is stunning. From the aesthetics to the plot to the character conflicts to the CGI, it’s such an obvious and pathetic rip-off that I occasionally cannot help but burst out laughing when watching the show.

Nevertheless, watching an episode of SGU is considerably less painful than watching an episode of Stargate Atlantis or Stargate SG-1, despite the fact that both those shows had actors in them that I absolutely adore (David Hewlett was the main reason we watched Atlantis). So why is this?

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Battlestar Galactica: Blood & Chrome

Yes, there’s going to be a new Battlestar Galactica spin-off.

(from Deadline)

After launching prequel Caprica, which is now airing the second part of its first season while awaiting word on a second-season pickup, the cable network has greenlighted a two-hour pilot for Battlestar Galactica: Blood & Chrome or BGBC how it will probably be known in the Battlestar fan universe.

And here’s the network’s description of the show:

Battlestar Galactica: Blood & Chrome takes place in the 10th year of the first Cylon war. As the battle between humans and their creation, a sentient robotic race, rages across the 12 colonial worlds, a brash rookie viper pilot enters the fray. Ensign William Adama, barely in his 20’s and a recent Academy graduate, finds himself assigned to the newest battlestar in the Colonial fleet… the Galactica. The talented but hot-headed risk-taker soon finds himself leading a dangerous top secret mission that, if successful, will turn the tide of the decade long war in favor of the desperate fleet. “The ‘Galactica’ universe as re-imagined by Ron Moore and David Eick is rich with possibilities and backstory,” said SyFy’s Mark Stern. “We jumped at the chance to revisit the William Adama character and explore this exciting chapter in the BSG narrative which falls between the events of the original series and the prequel, ‘Caprica,’ currently airing on Syfy.”

“While maintaining the themes of politics, social propaganda, and the timeless question:  what does it mean to be human? – ‘Blood & Chrome’ will also return us to the authentic, relentless depiction of combat and the agony and ecstasy of human-Cylon war, which was the hallmark of ‘Battlestar Galactica’s’ early seasons,” said Eick. Michael Taylor wrote the teleplay from a story by Eick, Taylor and Bradley Thompson & David Weddle.

Now, apart from the fact that the title seems derivative of Spartacus: Blood & Sand (which makes a hell of a lot more sense), do we really need another BSG spin-off? Is the BSG universe – its whole essence determined by one catastrophic event – really that full of possibilities? Is it wise to attempt adding more twists and turns to a backstory that’s already full of holes and contradictions? It’s one thing to go back to a setting that was planned in detail, but BSG was written on the fly, and though it undeniably has its strengths, it already has enough trouble standing up to repeated viewing.

With Caprica being a show so thoroughly uninspiring and lacking in likeable characters that we can’t bring ourselves to watch more of it even though it features some of our favourite actors, and The Plan deserving some kind of award for most incoherent prequel of all time, what are we going to get out of Spartacus: Robots & Humans?

I don’t mean to be cynical. For all its absurd flaws, Battlestar Galactica had moments of grace and power that I am glad to have experienced. But some stories are over when they’re over. There should never have been a Crusade to follow Babylon 5, and perhaps Battlestar Galactica should just be left alone.

Unless someone wants to reimagine the last episode. That would be spiffy.

Doctor Who 1.1: “Rose”

by Verena Kyratzes

I’ve been aware of Doctor Who forever. Who hasn’t, really? The show is so old and so all-pervasive that it has become a solid part of our cultural history.

About a year ago I started watching the 2005 incarnation of Doctor Who, not having seen anything of the show before except for a few clips and having read a whole lot about TARDISes and Time Lords and Gallifrey. And I was amazed.

To be fair and also to get it out in the very beginning: Doctor Who isn’t my favourite show in the world. It isn’t my second favourite either. Third? We can talk about it, though I’m not sure what the outcome would be. Making lists is a tedious task and one I’d rather not engage in here and now. What I’d like to do now is write about the 2005 series of the show which I’m currently re-watching with Jonas… he’ll have a few things to say too, I’d wager.

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The Dark Tower to be filmed

The Dark Tower is Stephen King’s magnum opus: a stunning seven-part series that cannot really be compared to anything else. You could call it a literary epic, a western, a fantasy story, a science fiction story, a character drama, a philosophical journey… but none of those terms do it justice. It’s beautiful, thoughtful, exciting, and intensely heartbreaking. And of course people want to adapt it, as if its original form wasn’t good enough.

The previous people to sign up for a Dark Tower movie were the people behind Lost; that seemed like a combination with a lot of potential. But ultimately, it seems, they felt the project was too big, and they were afraid of mucking it up; a commendable sentiment, and one I wish Peter Jackson had had years ago.

Now a new team has taken over:

(via Slashdot)

“Universal Pictures and NBC Universal Television Entertainment have closed a deal to turn Stephen King’s mammoth novel series The Dark Tower into a feature film trilogy and a network TV series, both of which will be creatively steered by the Oscar-winning team behind A Beautiful Mind and The Da Vinci Code. ‘The plan is to start with the feature film, and then create a bridge to the second feature with a season of TV episodes. That means the feature cast — and the big star who’ll play Deschain — also has to appear in the TV series before returning to the second film. After that sequel is done, the TV series picks up again, this time focusing on Deschain as a young gunslinger.’”

Not only is A Beautiful Mind massively overrated and The DaVinci Code a piece of utter tripe, but this seems like the worst possible approach to take. Will we have to suffer through another kitschy, bowdlerized version of a great story?

Going Postal

by Verena Kyratzes

Terry Pratchett’s Discworld novels are the staple food of most fantasy readers. Almost everyone has read at least a few of them, and those who haven’t will have heard of them. I personally love the Disc and the characters that inhabit it.

There have been many attempts to adapt Discworld for both television and the big screen. Soul Music and Weird Sisters, both from 1997, are unknown to me, but the reviews seem to be mostly favorable. Then Hogfather, in 2006, the first live-action adaptation. A true gem that manages to make up for a slow beginning by later being very funny and also on occasion very, very touching. The movie was produced for TV by Sky One and I can’t fault it either in terms of production values or casting. And the script wasn’t too shabby either. Hogfather is also one of my favorite Discworld novels, so I had reason to be pleased.

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Futurama is back!

by Verena Kyratzes

The time for rejoicing has come.

I never really liked cartoons. I treated the whole genre with some really ignorant form of benign neglect. I didn’t think the format was bad or stupid, I just couldn’t connect to most shows, whether they were SpongeBob SquarePants or Family Guy. Until Futurama came along.

Futurama was… multifaceted. Some episodes were outrageously funny, others dead serious. Some, the best ones, were both. Slurms McKenzie’s unexpected demise in “Fry and the Slurm Factory” is the earliest of those that I can think of right now, but the most surprising, the one that hits you over the head from seemingly nowhere, is “Jurassic Bark”.

Futurama went to places where many live-action series wouldn’t dare go in a thousand years. I’m chiefly thinking of “Amazon Women in the Mood” here, but there are many other episodes that are just as naughty… or, well, gross.

Futurama did another thing that few of its live-action brethren ever dared do: it had a serious, lasting love story that even got resolved at some point. In a world where lasting attachments between characters are considered something of a ratings-killer Futurama did the right thing and gave Fry and Leela a chance. Time and the sixth season will show where the story of Phillip J. Fry and Turanga Leela will go, but I for one do hope for the best.

Speaking of the sixth season: did I mention that Futurama is back? The show has been cancelled, renewed as a series of feature-length direct-to-DVD movies, lain dead for almost two years… and finally been resurrected again. The sixth season of twenty-six episodes (maybe, perhaps, might be less, no-one can or will actually say) started airing less than a week ago and the beginning is promising.

“Rebirth” isn’t the best episode of Futurama, but neither is it bad. One thing that it is is disgusting, but to explain that would entail too many spoilers, so I won’t. All I’ll say is that I shouldn’t have been disturbed by the scene in question, but I was. I was, as they say, really grossed out. And I think that wouldn’t have happened if the characters in Futurama were less real, less dear to me. Just something to think about.

One way or the other: Futurama is back. It’s still funny, still daring and still shamelessly self-referential. And we love it for it.

Lost Made Them Do It: Five Musical Lost Videos

by Jonas Kyratzes

(Caution: Lost spoilers!)

Lost, with its many mysteries, with its cliffhangers, with its strong characters, with its strange twists and its clever humour… is obviously the perfect material for a song.

It makes sense. After all, music is one of our most primal and ancient artforms; how else could we express our deep and complex feelings about Lost? No, nothing is quite as appropriate as music.

So here are some examples of how Lost has inspired musical works or adaptations of true genius. Or something like that.

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Can Lost pull it together?

by Jonas Kyratzes

We’re getting closer to the end of Lost, and I’m starting to get excited. In fact, approximately 10 episodes from the end seems to be the place where a lot of shows that I was previously ambivalent about seem to grip me. I think it’s the promise of a wrap-up: the idea that everything we’ve seen so far, and often doubted the meaning of, will turn out to be meaningful after all, and add up to a powerful ending.

But will it?

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