[scrippet]EXT. THE INTERNET – NIGHT
JONAS and VERENA are talking in your head.
JONAS
I’m not sure whether it’s really a good idea to start with the Twilight review. I mean, it’s really funny, but we made this big point that Commentarium isn’t about hating movies, it’s about loving them, about being analytical and interesting and… I don’t know, it feels too easy.
VERENA
It’s not easy at all! I had to watch this movie.[/scrippet]
To get it out of the way: No, I haven’t seen the first one, and I haven’t read the books, either. Still, I dare feel qualified to say something on the subject. Should you disagree, please take your disagreement somewhere else.
Backstory: A while ago, driven by scientific curiosity and nothing else to do, a friend and I watched Twilight: New Moon.
The results were as follows:
- We managed to lose 130 unrecoverable minutes of our young lives.
- A movie doesn’t need to look bad to be bad.
- I still think that Robert Pattinson got hit in the face with a baseball bat when he was a kid. It’s really the only explanation.
*deep breath*
It’s sad how good this movie looks. Good in the sense of sets, costumes, photography; not werewolves. A lot of money went into Twilight: New Moon, and it’s easy to see that. In a world where I all too often leave the cinema wondering where the hell they put the millions of dollars that they spent on the damn movie, I cannot fault Twilight for its look. For a lot of other things maybe – like, say, existing – but not for its look.
So, you may ask, what’s my problem with Twilight? It’s so nice and romantic and Christian. Well, I might answer, that’s my problem right there.