The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

by Verena Kyratzes

The Twilight Saga is a phenomenon that holds some fascination for me. I don’t quite know how it started… hearing some friends talk about their experience with the books, I  guess, but it ended with me reading all four novels. Painful, but necessary, and now I know for sure just how good or bad the books are. Oh, and I also watched the movies, all three of them, including the latest one: Eclipse. If you want to know what I think of the novels, I suggest you take a look at my blog, where I’m currently in the process of writing an eight-part review of the entire series. If you want to know what I thought of Eclipse… well, just read on.

I’ve seen both Twilight and New Moon and my conclusion in both cases was that although they aren’t good movies by any measure they’re at least competently made. The sets look good, there are some truly amazing landscape shots, and even though I resent the hype around Robert Pattinson, his morose-looking counterpart Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner’s abs, I still have to admit that there’s some decent acting to be found among all the sparkle and shine. Now, if only the story was less asinine…

Unfortunately the same doesn’t go for Eclipse. As I sat down in the cinema the other day I was actually looking forward to the movie. The first two were, after all, enjoyable if you didn’t allow your brain to get in the way and David Slade had previously directed Hard Candy, which I really liked (and then there was 30 Days of Night… well, I’d been trying to overlook that).

The auditorium dims, the curtain rolls back, the hum of the projector fills the tiny cinema in which I’m sitting and I get lost. Unfortunately I don’t get lost in superb acting and poetic imagery – it’s the plot that loses me. After twenty minutes I feel very happy indeed that I have recently re-read the novel in preparation for writing a review of the darn thing. It’s like… well, it’s hard to describe, but I’d say the closest thing would be to write the individual parts of Eclipse down on domino tiles, then to throw said tiles into an opaque bag and draw them out at random (but not all of them!). Incoherent is too kind a word.

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Trailerwatch: How To Train Your Dragon, Tron Legacy, Twilight: Eclipse, Iron Man 2, The Eclipse, Agora

by Jonas & Verena Kyratzes

What does a trailer say about a movie? Well, not a whole lot, actually. Sometimes trailers make movies look better than they are; other times they make brilliant movies look like garbage. What’s worse, sometimes they create totally wrong expectations in the audience and harm the movie (see The Village, a love story sold as a horror movie).

But we like trailers, because they tell us about movies we haven’t seen yet. And so, every now and then, we’ll write a Trailerwatch article to tell you about trailers that we’ve seen.

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Twilight: New Moon

by Verena Kyratzes

[scrippet]EXT. THE INTERNET – NIGHT

JONAS and VERENA are talking in your head.

JONAS
I’m not sure whether it’s really a good idea to start with the Twilight review. I mean, it’s really funny, but we made this big point that Commentarium isn’t about hating movies, it’s about loving them, about being analytical and interesting and… I don’t know, it feels too easy.

VERENA
It’s not easy at all! I had to watch this movie.[/scrippet]

To get it out of the way: No, I haven’t seen the first one, and I haven’t read the books, either. Still, I dare feel qualified to say something on the subject. Should you disagree, please take your disagreement somewhere else.

Backstory: A while ago, driven by scientific curiosity and nothing else to do, a friend and I watched Twilight: New Moon.

The results were as follows:

  1. We managed to lose 130 unrecoverable minutes of our young lives.
  2. A movie doesn’t need to look bad to be bad.
  3. I still think that Robert Pattinson got hit in the face with a baseball bat when he was a kid. It’s really the only explanation.

*deep breath*

It’s sad how good this movie looks. Good in the sense of sets, costumes, photography; not werewolves. A lot of money went into Twilight: New Moon, and it’s easy to see that. In a world where I all too often leave the cinema wondering where the hell they put the millions of dollars that they spent on the damn movie, I cannot fault Twilight for its look. For a lot of other things maybe – like, say, existing – but not for its look.

So, you may ask, what’s my problem with Twilight? It’s so nice and romantic and Christian. Well, I might answer, that’s my problem right there.

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